Masquerade
by Epicest of the Epic
Summary: AU. After refusing to have an arranged marriage, Misaki ends up in Seika Academy for Wayward Boys. Her hatred for boys is the least of her worries. Between the endless excuses she has to make up for everything, the sessions with her counselor and her roommate she might be falling for, life can't get any worse...right?
1. Her, aka the Weirdo

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Maid-sama.**

 **I've had this plot bunny in my head for a while.** **But just to warn ya, it's edging on a crackfic. So yeah. Beware of weird, dumb, humour.**

* * *

The day Misaki's life was ruined was a Monday. The café had been completely full that day, because it was the summer holidays. That meant non-stop work, no breaks in the back room and being forced to look at endless amounts of freezing cold smoothies and not being able to drink a single one. Which, of course, was more torture than the heat itself. So therefore, she just wanted to get home, have a quick shower, and go straight to sleep. Unfortunately for her, that wasn't possible.

"Misaki!" her mother called from the kitchen as Misaki closed the front door. "Come here, dear!"

' _Dear'_? Where was that coming from? As far as Misaki knew, her mother had never, ever called her something sickeningly sweet as that.

"Okay, wait a second!" Misaki replied, slipping her shoes off and plunking her bag onto the stairs untidily. She entered the kitchen, feeling a sense of foreboding doom.

Surprisingly enough, both her mother and father were there, sitting silently next to each other at the table. And neither was arguing about money, or how idiotic the other was, or how idiotic the invention of debt was, which Misaki found even more astonishing.

But the most astounding thing of all was the fact that her parents were both _smiling_.

Something was wrong. They were smiling, so the Sun was probably going to crash down on Earth any minute now. Smiling just wasn't something Mr and Mrs Ayuzawa did very often.

Don't get me wrong or anything – they weren't bad parents or anything. Actually, they were very loving parents. Just loving parents who, for the last few years, had been blinded by their desperate need for money. The Ayuzawa's company was neck-deep in dept.

Minako smiled. "Misaki, we've found a way out of the debt."

Misaki grinned. "That's great! So maybe we can move out of this ramshackle house?" She gestured around her at the broken flooring and patched ceiling.

"That's right, Misaki," Sakuya said nodding. "But we just need a little bit of help from you…"

"You'll help your parents, won't you?" Minako added on quickly.

Misaki looked back and forth between them in bewilderment. Something felt wrong."What are you guys talking about?" she demanded.

Minako sighed. "You might want to sit down, sweetie."

"What? Why?" Misaki asked, confused.

"You see, Misaki," Sakuya began to explain. "The Walker family are also having problems. Not with their company, it's one of their sons. He's obviously shining in his work and is, no doubt, going to make his company thrive when he's older, but he has really terrible behaviour. He's been caught breaking into shops several times, and even got into some street fights and he's doing drugs. So his family sent him to a disciplinary academy a few times, but every time he comes back, nothing really changes. So the Walker family has decided that having a wife might make him want to be a better person.

"And here," Sakuya continued on, "is where you come in."

Misaki's mouth dropped open. She knew what was coming, and she didn't like it. Not one bit. "No. You can't be serious, Dad. I'm sixteen! I'm not getting married now! And especially not to a skank like that."

"Misaki! I don't want you to get married so early either, but don't call your future husband a skank!"

"He's not my future husband! Just ship him back to disciplinary school; they don't need to ruin my life too!"

"We've already talked it through with the Walkers! We're one of their clients and we have a beautiful daughter the same age as theirs! It's a match made in heaven! In fact, you're already engaged to him! You can't say no!"

"I just said it! I'm not getting married to him, and you're lunatics if you think I will!"

"Misaki!" her father barked. "Don't speak to your mother like that! Go to your room!"

Misaki almost laughed. "In my bedroom, I've got my bed, and my books, and almost everything I need. Actually, I've been waiting all day to go to my room. You're a complete idiot if you think that's a punishment, Dad."

"You little…" he growled. "You ungrateful little girl. Your mother and I have worked day and night to keep you alive, and this is how you repay us? Your attitude needs changing. I'll tell you what. If you don't get married to the Walker kid, you have to go to the same disciplinary school as him. It'll show you that he isn't a 'skank' as you say, and it'll teach you the manners you need too. How about it, Minako?"

Misaki gaped in disbelief at what was happening to her. Minako nodded. "That's a great idea, honey, but you do realise that the school their son is going to is Seika Academy for Wayward Boys?"

Oh no. Not Seika.

Please, please, _please_ not Seika.

Everyone in the country knew about Seika. It was no doubt the toughest military school in Japan, and perhaps one of the contenders for the whole of Asia. All the worst delinquents went there – or were forced to go there – by the police. Misbehaving kids were sent there by their parents. Although this technically wasn't allowed, some parents dropped their kids there, if they thought that they were too scrawny or wimpy, to toughen them up. And, boy did it work. There were myths of nerdy little kids going there and coming back as huge, muscled men. The fees for the school were high, but some would argue that it was worth it. Misaki, however, was perfectly content with her completely normal and ordinary high school where she reigned as student council president.

"Dad," Misaki argued back. "It's for 'Wayward Boys'. I'm not wayward and I'm certainly not a boy, last time I checked. I'm not going."

"Okay, then get married," he replied. Misaki struggled between the two choices for a few seconds but quickly came to a conclusion. She would only have to last two years in Seika before she was eighteen and in charge of herself, but marriage was for _life_. And besides, if she refused both, she would probably be disowned, and no matter how annoyed she was at them, they were still family.

Misaki shook her head violently so Sakuya handed her a slightly crumpled brochure.

On the cover were two boys in green blazers covered with badges and brown trousers, the fakest of smiles plastered on their faces. She cringed and turned the page to find a bunch of text.

 _Are YOU looking for a boarding school for your child?_

 _Is YOUR family life on the edge of despair because of your child's behaviour?_

 _Does YOUR child display any of these behaviours?_

 _Disregard of Rules, Lying, Stealing, Sudden Change in Personality, Uncontrollable Anger, Hateful attitude, Withdrawal from Family, Manipulative behaviour, Lack of Motivation, "You can't make me," attitude, Skipping School, School Suspensions, Falling Grades, Violence, Sexually Active, Gang Involvement, Bullying, Runs Away from Home, Drug Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Smoking_

 _Well, look no further. With facilities to therapeutically aid your child, as well as restore order to your child by military exercises and chores, Seika Academy for Wayward Boys is the perfect school for your child._

She looked up from the thin piece of paper. There was more to read, but that was quite enough for her. "I'm not 'wayward'! I got about one of these behaviours out of twenty something, and that's 'You can't make me' attitude, which I only started about a minute ago!"

"That's not the point, young lady!" Minako snapped. "It's to get to know your husband! But of course, in the disguise of a boy."

"He's not my husband! And I'm not dressing as a boy!"

"You are, until you fix that attitude of yours!"

"I don't have an attitude! It's just because of this idiotic idea of marriage of yours!"

"That's it, young lady. Go to your room."

"Yay, thank you!" Misaki said smiling as she bounced up the stairs oh-so cheerfully.

What an absolutely _wonderful_ development this all was.

* * *

Eventually, summer became autumn and it was the first day of school. Looking all smart in her brushed boy wig and perfectly ironed new school uniform (which, of course, was worn over her tightly bandaged chest) she hugged her younger sister goodbye and bounded down the stairs, dragging her huge black trunk with her.

Today, she was determined to not look disheartened in front of her parents as she entered this new school. No matter how she really felt inside, she wasn't going to let her parents win this one.

"If it gets too hard for you out there, you can always come on back," her father told her with a slick smile, at the train station. "There's always the choice of marriage."

It seemed that he was still annoyed at her. Misaki returned his fake smile with one of her own. "Oh, don't worry about that. I won't be coming back home until I graduate."

"Is that so?"

Misaki nodded and, after saying her quick goodbyes to her parents, she pulled herself onto the bus going up north to the school.

She had arrived at the bus stop a bit early, so this particular bus wasn't going to get going for another half an hour. So she picked a seat near the back of the bus and sat down. And then she fell asleep.

An hour later, she woke up, surrounded by endless noise. Someone had elbowed her head, hopefully accidentally, and she wasn't happy.

Boys. The word made her want to throw up. Boys were smelly, disrespectful and above all, noisy. That's why she became school council president in the first place: to restore order in the school. So she had no clue what on earth she, of all people, was doing on a smelly, noisy bus like this, going to a school that was probably going to drive her nuts.

Ugh.

* * *

When they arrived, after hours of agonizing boredom, they were herded off the bus and put into long lines in an empty field. Buses from all over the country had arrived too, so the amount of lines in the field was a lot. One person of staff dressed in a military style outfit walked down the lines with a clipboard, ticking off each name.

After several minutes, the person reached me. "Name," the fierce looking woman asked me.

"Misa – I mean, Mitsuaki Ayuzawa," she mumbled, correcting herself.

She didn't look too suspicious of her. "Mmhm…ah, yes. I see you. You're a second year high schooler yet this is your first year at Seika. That's normal. _Don't_ be late for orientation tomorrow morning, or you will regret it. Here's your timetable and other information you need. Oh, and your keys are in there, so don't lose it." She passed her a big folder from her bag, and went onto the next person.

When everyone was done, all the members of staff walked back to the front and led them to the dormitory blocks, still in the lines. Misaki got taken off to Building Two, for the second year students, and according to her key number, she was in Room 291. She swung the cold metal door open, hoping for her own room for privacy, but with her rotten luck, there were two beds.

Or, perhaps this rotten luck of hers wasn't all that bad. On one sat a guy with golden hair that shone even in the dim lighting. He looked up from the book he was reading to glance at her, and she saw the most gorgeous jewel-like emerald eyes she had ever seen. Just looking at them, Misaki wanted to melt into a pile of Misaki-goo on the floor, right then and there. Or maybe, the way that she was blushing, she could burn into a pile of ashes. That would probably be better than staying in this school. And then she groaned and wanted to bang her head on the wall in embarrassment, but due to the current situation, she decided not to.

"Uh, hi," Misaki mumbled, stretching out her hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm Ayuzawa. What's your name?"

"Usui," he replied, glancing at her outstretched arm. Then he nonchalantly shook her hand, not looking like he cared much. "You can call me Takumi, if you like."

The brunette blinked several times. "I only just met you, so I'll stick with Usui-san if that's okay with you. Do you usually offer up your first name like that to random strangers?"

His facial expression remained the same. "No, it's just that you smell like coconut shampoo. It's a girl scent. It reminds me of my old roommate."

Misaki raised an eyebrow. "You're old roommate was a girl?"

"No, he just smelt like one."

"Oh. Okay then…" The brunette had now run out of things to say. Wasn't that a great conversation? Barely more than half a minute.

She sat down on the bed that Takumi wasn't on, and groaned. There was no mattress, just a board of wood. Misaki's eyes bulged out her skull. How on earth was she meant to sleep on that? She quickly looked around the room for some kind of cushion, but there was nothing in the small, barren room.

Ah, right. How could she forget? She had packed a bunch of luxuries before she left home, to take in case things lot really, really bad. She undid the zip to her suitcase in a hurry and threw it open, only to see the one thing that she didn't want to see.

Everything.

Was.

Gone.

 _GONE!_

When I say everything, I mean everything. Well, everything that mattered for her wellbeing. She scrambled through every little pocket in her suitcase, and everything was gone, except a single towel. That was all that was left.

She flashed back to earlier in the day. They had just got off the bus, and the school got people to take their luggage to check for weapons, explosives, or anything else that might kill someone. And they also wanted to take all the luxuries away because they wanted them to live simply or something along the lines of that rubbish.

"My phone is not a luxury!" Misaki screamed at the suitcase, growing red with anger. "And it was a fucking iPhone 6, goddammit! Well, maybe that's a luxury. But a mechanical toothbrush is not a luxury, it's a way to keep hygienic, those idiots! And where's all those outfits? And my pajamas, they were so cute!"

Takumi raised his eyebrows.

"Uadfjlkjg they took my moisturising cream too! And they took my blanket too! I have had that blanket since I was six! And, ohmygosh, they took all my photos! What is this, prison? But they don't even do that in prison!" the brunette yelled, so angry that she didn't ever care about the very much weirded out Takumi on the other side of the room.

"And – oh no, they didn't."

Takumi didn't expect what was coming next, and Misaki definitely hadn't planned it either.

"The school stole my pads!" she blurted out.

How she got out of this one, she would never know.

* * *

 **Just to say, Mitsuaki means "the sparkle of success" in Japanese, and Tsuray gave it to me! So thanks :)**

 **Please review to tell me what you thought!**


	2. Him, aka the Pervert

**DISCLAIMER: No, I seriously don't own Maid-sama.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, they were lovely! I didn't realise that there would be so many reviews! It makes me really happy :)**

* * *

A silence hung around the air for what felt like seconds, while Misaki prayed to the heavens that Takumi could possibly, possibly, be completely deaf. But he evidently wasn't, the way that he was eyeing her with a strange mixture of horror and amusement.

His mouth curved into a smirk. His eyes, which used to look bored, now sparked with interest. "Ohhhhh. I see. I get it. You're a girl."

"Am not," she replied immediately. Takumi noted that her voice's pitch had lowered about an octave, in panic. "Come on, dude. I am so a guy. Y'know? I'm 100% guy. Just one of the guys. Made up of an X and Y chromosome. Not double Xs. And I've got a banana, not a donut, if you know what I mean." She nudged Takumi with her elbow a couple of times.

"Hmm," he said in thought. "But if you don't have a donut, what are you doing with pads?"

"Pads? Pshhh,"she scoffed, a bead of sweat running down her forehead. "I didn't say that."

"Then what did you say?"

"Plaids. Ads. Dads. Lads. Anything but pads." She almost sighed in relief that she hadn't mentioned the tampons too, because that would be hard to rhyme.

"I don't believe you."

"Good. I'm not asking you to." She then decided to swiftly to change the topic. "Do you know where the showers are? I smell like a pig and – AHHHHHHHH!"

Takumi had grabbed her by the waist and held her under his arm, forcing Misaki into fits of giggles. "I see you're ticklish," he said, starting to smile. "This could be fun."

"USUI!" she screamed, her low 'guy' voice breaking as he dropped her onto the cold hard floor, sat on her, and proceeded to tickle her around the neck area, without stopping. "HAHAHAH…STOP IT, YOU IDIOT!"

"As I was saying before," he continued, ignoring her previous comment, "I would like to hear an explanation. A proper one this time."

"NO! IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, AND STOP TICKLING ME!"

"Never! Fufufu ~. And it's very much my business what genitals my roommate has."

"EWW YOU PERVERT! COULDN'T YOU HAVE SAID THAT IN ANY OTHER WAY? I'M NOT TALKING TO A DIRTY PERVERT LIKE YOU, NOW STOP THE TICKLING!"

"Aww, come on, Mitsu-chan. I'll trade you a secret if you spill."

Misaki shook her head, trying hard not to laugh at the tickling. "I DON'T GIVE A FLYING BISCUIT ABOUT YOU OR YOUR LIFE! YOU CAN BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY FOR ALL I CARE!"

"You don't have to be so mean, Mitsu-chan. It won't be just any old secret; it'll be the biggest secret of my whole life! You know you want to..." He winked at her.

That was kind of tempting, she had to admit. She wanted to know his secrets, but more importantly, to know how to use them against him. "ALRIGHT! STOP THE TICKLING." He obliged. When her gasping started to stop, an evil smile formed on her lips as she thought of all the possibilities. "Wait," she said quickly, stopping those thoughts. "Pinky swear first."

He rolled his eyes and held out his little finger, which Misaki hooked with hers. "Yeah, yeah. Pinky swear. Now spill."

She sighed. "Okay. So…uh, it's because...uh…"

He raised an eyebrow. The left one, specifically.

She panicked and told herself to keep talking. "…I just really, really, really want to be a girl. If I'm not a girl, I don't know what the point of living is. I feel trapped in this male body. I just feel so uncomfortable with a banana. I mean, I want to eat bananas but I don't want one myself. But my parents don't approve. So I bought some pads to show my parents that I'm a girl inside and I want to be one outside too. They saw them in my room and got all annoyed. For them, that was the last straw, and they sent me to this school to make me all masculine. So I'm really annoyed with them." That point wasn't exactly a lie. "But to annoy them even more, I brought the pads along with me. They're really special to me because they're a symbol of my gender. And…that's why I'm upset."

 _Good, it's over. Wait…What. The. Hell. Did. I. Just. Say…?_

Takumi let out a laugh. This girl was seriously weird. "I see you've got an unhealthy hobby of lying, haven't you?"

"It's not a hobby. Uh, I mean, that wasn't a lie."

"It sure was. And you violated the pinky swear. Therefore, I shall cut off your pinky."

Misaki clutched her hand in horror. "Stay away from my pinky. I wasn't lying."

"If you weren't lying, we need to get you help for your gender identity problems."

Misaki struggled to say something for a few seconds. What if he actually told someone else this? But it's not like her life could get much worse. "Fine. I don't care. It's the truth. Now tell me yours," she said, smiling and leaning forwards.

He sighed. "Well, I have to uphold my side of the pinky swear. My secret is that I am actually a hardcore otaku. I love maids. I am obsessed with maids. I have an uncontrollable fetish for maids. I love looking at maid outfits. I buy maid outfits. I wear maid outfits. In public. I sit in my favourite maid cafe every single minute of every day just to look at maids. I dream of maids every night. They really turn me on. Do you want to guess how much of that was truth?"

"…I'm guessing a third of it?"

"Try again."

"None of it?"

"And we have a winner!" he said sarcastically, clapping slowly.

"Hey, you cheated me!" Misaki scowled angrily.

"Hmm, didn't you cheat me first?"

"I did no such thing."

"I see you're stubborn. It doesn't matter, I have plenty of ways to make you admit that you have a donut."

"I don't have a donut...yet. And what do you mean by that?"

"Sexual harassment. That might be fun."

"EWW, PERVERT! GET OFF ME!"

"But Mitsu-chan, you're so comfy…"

"GET OFF ME!"

* * *

By the time it was morning, a long black line had been drawn with a big marker pen, along the whole length of the room. Over the line, someone had written "YOU SHALL NOT PASS" in the same marker pen. Each side was perfectly measured so that each side had completely equal space. Each of the two sides had a bed, desk and a wardrobe, so that it you stood at the door, where the line drew down the middle of, the sides would be completely symmetrical. To add to that, Misaki had decided that they needed some rules too, so had written up a three-page list of room rules, stuck it in between the two beds, and had forced Takumi to sign it at the bottom. When she was done, it was already four in the morning. The only difference between them was that Misaki looked like a zombie and Usui still looked like an angel.

"Did you sleep well, Mitsu-chan?" Takumi asked cheerfully as he got up from his bed.

The brunette glared at him coldly as she did the same. They had both tried to get at least a few hours of sleep but because of the uncomfortableness of the beds, neither had gotten any sleep. "Don't call me Mitsu-chan. My name is Mitsuaki. No, forget that. I'm Ayuzawa-san to you. And also, remember Rule #18. You're not allowed to talk to me."

"You're kind of contradicting that, aren't you?"

"I'm not actually talking to you. I'm reminding you of the rules."

"Of course you are."

* * *

"Usui-san, you're crossing the line. Don't forget Rule #1. Stay on your side."

"Yeah, yeah…"

* * *

"Usui-san, stop staring at me. You're edging on Rule #47. No perverting."

"Oh come on. That's barely perverting. I was simply admiring you while you were dressing."

"Eww, that's definitely perverting. Turn around. Noooow."

"Well, aren't you a Little Miss Bossy."

* * *

"Usui-san, we're late for breakfast and I'm hungry. Hurry up."

"What were you saying about Rule #18? Something about not talking to me?"

"…Bastard."

* * *

"Usui-san, we still haven't had breakfast and we're going to be late for class."

"But Rule #18 –"

"I don't give a flipping cat's ass about Rule #18. We're not in our room."

"Hmmhm. Then what about Rule #3? The one about sexual harassment?"

"N-no, that one still applies… So don't you dare come within a metre of me!"

"Why not?"

"Because of Rule #3! Stay away from me or I'll tie you to that lamppost and go to class alone. Usui, are you listening to me?!"

* * *

When she finally got to class, she was ten minutes late and Misaki was tired, hungry, scruffy, smelly and annoyed. Not to mention extremely flustered.

The class turned when Misaki pushed the creaky door of class 2F open slowly. The scary-looking teacher glared at her through his thick glasses. "Bit late, aren't you?"

"Sorry, sir."

"What's your name?"

"Ayuzawa Mitsuaki, sir."

"I don't care," he said cheerfully. A couple of people sniggered. Misaki scowled. "You can go and sit in one of the spaces at the back. I suppose that it's your first day, so I'll let you off easy for being late. Hmm, let's see. Today, miss lunch and instead you can clean all the urinals in the school."

Misaki's mouth dropped. "But, sir –"

"Sit down now or I'll make you clean the toilets too."

Looking very downhearted, she shuffled to the back of the room. Urinals, really? She had never even seen one properly, much less told to clean it. There would also be the fact that she would be missing two meals in a row. And she had never been told off by a teacher before. Usually they liked her a lot.

She shook it off quickly. If she wanted to get into his good books, she would have to work. She was good at that, anyway.

As soon as she sat down, the door swung open again. Takumi strolled in leisurely, _still_ looking like an angel. The teacher glared even harder at him than at Misaki. "How good of you to drop in," the guy said menacingly, glaring daggers into a stoic Takumi's head.

"Actually, me and my roommate would have come earlier but he decided to tie me to a lamppost instead," Takumi replied with an innocent smile.

"He _what?_ " the teacher stared at Misaki who looked extremely awkward. Takumi walked down the aisle and plonked his bag down onto his desk next to Misaki's.

"I only did it because he was trying to peek at my underwear," Misaki grumbled.

* * *

 **I know that chapter was short, but it felt unnatural to end it anywhere else.**

 **Also…wtf did I just write?**


	3. Two Odd People in a Bathroom

**Thanks for the follows and favourites and views! And the reviews all make me smile loads :) Here's another chapter! I'm not bothering with a disclaimer this chapter, because I think you get the idea…**

* * *

Misaki hated boys. Misaki _really_ hated boys. That thought passed through her mind at least forty nine times each day, but sometimes she hated boys more than other times.

Like at seventeen past twelve on Monday the eleventh of September. Misaki and her weird _boy_ roommate had been told to get into a _boys'_ bathroom in a _boys_ school and scrub the urinals until they sparkled. And it stank of _boys_ , and Misaki couldn't stop gagging.

Bad memories rushed back to her. The amount of times she had to go into the boys' bathroom in her previous school to yell at them to stop skipping class in the toilet stalls to read the latest porn magazine or hentai or something, was appalling.

Not to mention, Misaki had missed two meals, was about to miss three, hadn't showered in two days, had just pulled an all-nighter, and had just had to listen to her new teacher go on and on about the school system for a whole hour. There were basically three year groups which each had six classes: A, B, C, D, E and F. A was for the best, F was for the worst, or the new students. Misaki was in Class F. Class A students got the best of everything while Class F got the worst of everything. A, B, C, D and E always had exactly thirty people in each class. F had all the leftovers. If you move up a class, you get swapped with someone in the class you're moving into. So if you moved into Class E, someone from that class had to move down. Everyone except Class F students move up a year group at the end of the year. So Misaki would be trapped in an endless loop of second year until she got married to Mr Skank Walker or she got out of Class F.

After that huge explanation, they had to go on a long tour of the school. Takumi couldn't resist making a snide remark at each stop in the tour, and that irritated Misaki to no end. There was just something about him that brought out her more passionate side. Was it his gorgeous – or rather, annoying – face? Or perhaps his slightly too unique personality? Either way, her passionate side, also known as her homicidal side, made her either want to scream or claw his emerald eyes out of their sockets. Ha, he wouldn't look so good without those, would he? In fact, he would definitely look kind of nasty...but that's not really the point. The first option would draw even more attention to herself, and the second option would be extremely messy. So she decided to keep to herself and resort to tightly clenching her very-ready-to-throttle-someone fists while she glared daggers at Takumi, who would probably just smile back at her amiably and oh-so infuriatingly.

Anyway, that's enough for Misaki's inner rant about Takumi's annoyingness. While her mind was raging on about him, Takumi glanced sideways to stare at his roommate. As she leaned down and scrubbed harder, a piece of her dark hair fell over her perfectly curved amber eyes, which always looked so determined. She might think that she wouldn't be considered feminine in a million years, but Takumi didn't understand how anyone could think that she was male. Everything about her, and everything she did, screamed out "That's a girl you're looking at, pervert!"

But she sure was amusing when she got embarrassed, so it might be better to play along with her cover story than to get her kicked out the school.

"Hey, stop starting at me. It's weird."

He was snapped out of his faze and looked back at her. She looked a bit cross, a splash of flush colouring her cheeks. She was cute, no doubt.

Out of nowhere, a stomach rumbled loudly. She glanced at him apologetically.

"Mitsu-chan, let's get lunch," he told her, dropping a sponge into the bucket of water. "I'm guessing you didn't have any lunch on the bus yesterday, and because of me, we didn't get dinner or breakfast. I'm sorry. You must be starving right now."

She shook her head. "But we need to finish our punishment. He'll just give us more work if we skip this."

"Then we'll pay some first years to do it for us."

Misaki scoffed. "They took away all our money when we got checked at the start of school, stupid."

"Hmm," he said in a monotone. "Not really. I have a compartment in my shoes where I put everything. I have a bunch of cash, my grandfather's credit cards, and my phone. I've actually been collecting pictures of you. I'm aiming to finish a photo album by winter break. It makes for good Christmas presents."

"…That's great." Misaki wasn't even bothered to scold him about his offhand, slightly perverted comments anymore which she had decided were usually untrue. Probably. Hopefully. Then she remembered what she was about to say. "But it doesn't matter. Punishment is punishment, so I'm not going to skip it. There is a reason that punishment is there, and that's to learn your lesson not to do it again. If I get out of it the easy way, I won't have learnt my lesson. See?"

"Then you learn your lesson now and then let's go have lunch. Just engrave it into your mind and then we can go."

"But that's not the point!"

"Ohhhhh. I get it. You're a masochist. You don't think that you're worthy of living until you've felt a bunch of pain by work. Is that right?"

"Nonononono. That's not it…you're just a rich lazy arse who doesn't want to work."

"Nah, I could have finished all this by now but then you would be going on about how you didn't get any work or something." His head perked up when the doors opened and a clump of first year boys came in. He then took off his right shoe and peeled a layer of fabric off the bottom, to reveal a wad of cash. One of the first years' eyes gleamed. "Five thousand yen to clean every urinal in this whole building. I'll give you a ten percent deposit. If you complete all of it well, I'll give you the rest. Deal?"

The first years nodded quickly. After all, money was rare here and was invaluable if you were to sneak out of school. Misaki gawked wordlessly as they took a bit of cash and began scrubbing. She quickly regained her composure. "Hang on, that's just a waste of money! You spoilt rich brats spend too much!"

"But if I don't use it now, I've wasted the deposit. That's a waste of money, you hypocrite."

The corner of Misaki's mouth twitched and her ready-to-throttle fists clenched. "Jeez, don't turn it on me… Oh, never mind. Let's just go have lunch."

* * *

"I'm sorry, but Class F students aren't served lunch."

"Whaaaaat?" Misaki almost yelled, her mouth dropping while the lunch lady glared at her to move away from the canteen. "Are you kidding me? I'm pretty sure that this is against human rights. Are we just left to starve or something? I'm calling the police. Oh, wait. I don't have a phone. Okay, gimme a phone, then."

"I can't do that."

"Alright, then," Misaki said, rolling up her sleeves. "Usui, back me up. I'm gonna – HEYYY! Put me down!"

Takumi lifted her onto his shoulder and nonchalantly walked away from the canteen, while she kicked and screamed. "Shame. I wish I could. You looked like you were having so much fun. But then again you also look like you're drunk and people are looking."

"I'M NOT DRUNK!"

"If you say so."

"I'm not drunk! Usui, testify for me! You've been with me since yesterday afternoon…when we first met! You know I don't have any booze on me! I don't have anything on me except for that stinking towel! Now put me down! People are looking!"

Takumi dropped her suddenly. Misaki scowled at him.

"We're at the Class F food station," he told her cheerfully.

She scrambled up. Three long tables were pushed against a wall. Each table was filled with some of bread and a couple of different fillings. "Oh, that's what the lunch lady meant. We aren't served lunch but we still get lunch, even if it's kind of manky."

"Yes, and that's why you looked drunk."

"Okay. You could have just said."

"Aww, Mitsu-chan, you're no fun."

* * *

The timetable at this school was…strange. Usually, you'd have lessons like 'Maths' or 'Biology' or something. But not here. Every day after lunch, every second year student had a joint class called 'Discipline'. And Misaki didn't think that sounded particularly fun. Neither did anyone else in the school, evidently.

They were led onto a field and put into perfectly straight lines in their classes. The teachers yelled at them for the next half an hour about how they were little pieces of crap who needed discipline restored in their lives. Next came what the teachers called 'Stage One: Accepting the Wrongness of Your Actions'.

In other words, telling everyone what you did to get put in this dump.

Answers varied widely, from bullying someone until they were almost dead, to getting bad grades, to running over the neighbour's cat. Misaki couldn't tell if Takumi was joking on that one.

And when Misaki's turn came, she said that it was because her parents were being stupid, which wasn't a lie in her point of view. She wasn't going to forgive them any time soon.

Then she got another detention because of 'insolence'. This time it was thirty laps around the track. Yay.

And so ended another ordinary day in the life of a crossdresser in an all-boys disciplinary school.

* * *

 **Yeaaahh, I know the end bit was lazy. I couldn't be bothered to make a nice ending…anyways, thanks for reading! Leave a review if you liked it! If you hated it, leave one anyway XD Reviews are awesome, though! So please. It doesn't take long. You know you wanna...**

 **Okay, yeah, I know I'm being creepy. But seriously.**


	4. A Really, Really Bad Haircut

**Here's a new chapter! Thanks for last chapter's reviews :D they were awesome!**

* * *

It was nine in the morning on a Tuesday, and Misaki was already ready to tear out her hair.

It wasn't even Takumi's fault. It wasn't even _remotely_ Takumi's fault. Goddammit. There was no one to blame except for the school's idiocy, her parents stupidity and her own dumb mistakes. She had done this to herself, and it had complicated everything so much. Life used to be so easy, and so perfect. Why hadn't she just got married to Mr Skank Walker like her parents wanted? Her parents would have been happy, the Walkers would be happy, and she would be happy, even if he really was a proper skank, because she would still be with Sakura, Shizuko, her sister Suzuna, Erika, Honoka, Subaru, Satsuki and Aoi. They were all nice _girls_ , a gender that seemed to be lacking just a bit in this school, except for Aoi who she didn't really miss all that much. Aoi probably didn't miss her all that much either. But that's not the point. This idiotic school didn't let Class F students use the showers, use the laundry room, or the game room. Their alternatives were the lake and the library. Misaki didn't mind about the library, but the lake was muddy.

She banged her head on the desk several times, moaning in anguish. "I can't do this…"

Takumi sighed and peeked over onto her sheet of paper. "What question are you stuck on? Three times twelve? That's six-year-old maths."

"Ugghh, Usui, I've just seriously messed up. Big time."

"With seven times six? That's forty two, not forty four."

"I'm not dumb or anything, stupid! I just wasn't concentrating, at all. I've just really messed up on the path of life. I made a bad, wrong decision and now I'm walking down the scary forest path with the ugly thorns and gross insects, not the path with the pretty flowers and nice trees."

"Melodramatic, aren't you," he said with just a hint of sarcasm.

"Ha. Ha. Funny. But the thing is, the path with the pretty flowers and trees is full of skanks, so I'd much rather be on the ugly path, I guess."

"That's the attitude."

"But I want to be on the pretty path!" Misaki groaned. "Hey, this is weird. I never used to complain. I used to just suck it up and work harder. This is really weird. Two days here have really messed me up. And I'm not a liar, either, but I've told so many lies here. AND, I've started swearing just a tiny bit - ARGGGGGH!" She clawed her fingers into her head as forcefully as she could in frustration, and with just as much force she pulled up and to the sides, like she was tearing out her hair.

But, uh, the problem was, the top thing on her head _wasn't_ her hair.

Rip.

Ripppppppppp.

Ripppppppppppppppppppppppp.

Silence.

Shit.

"Oh no. Oh no, no, no. Holy crap. HOLY SHIT!" Misaki screamed in despair as she figured out what happened. Her wig had fallen apart. Ugly clumps of hair drifted to the ground. Misaki stared at her ruined wig for a few seconds in disbelief. Takumi burst into an uncontrollable laughter as the whole class turned to stare and gape, but quickly came to a very, very sudden stop when he saw. He seemed to have forgotten to breathe for a moment. Locks of soft long chocolate brown hair were falling and settling all around her neck and shoulders in gentle waves, framing her horrified face. Her hair seemed to glow, bathed in sunlight streaming through the windows. This hair was darker than that of her wig, but looked a thousand more real, and a trillion times more beautiful.

That was the only word to describe it: beautiful.

That beautiful hair with those mesmerising eyes and that bizarre, bizarre personality that made him wonder what kind of strange parenting had made her like that…this girl was something special.

 _I do like special_ , he thought, absentmindedly.

He suddenly became aware that everyone was still staring at her. She looked terrified and humiliated all at once.

Something strange rose up in his stomach. He couldn't tell if it was a bit of anger or protectiveness, but he didn't like them looking at her like that. Not one bit. She was much cuter when she was happy. And her embarrassed face was adorable, her humiliated face was not. He felt like slapping everyone and telling them to get back to their stupid six-year-old standard maths question sheet.

Goddammit. What trouble this girl was.

"Misaki, quit trying on your new hair extensions," Takumi said loudly, rolling his eyes. "Just because you want to be a girl, doesn't mean that you should interrupt your school work for it."

Misaki's face at the moment, alone, was enough to make his day.

"That's very true," the teacher agreed, looking a bit shaken up. "Take out your extensions. Now."

"Yuhuh," Misaki mumbled. As soon as everyone got back to their work, grudgingly, she grabbed him by his tie and yanked him down under her desk.

"You owe me," she hissed. "Big time."

"I think the one who is to do the owing is you, not me. I just saved your life. Plus I just got even more proof that you're a girl." Trademark smirk.

She shot him a nasty glare. "But no one else really knows I'm a girl. Most will just think I'm a girly boy. All the tough big kids are going to think they're so cool for beating up the girly boy. Look at Yukimura." They both poked their heads out the desk to glance at the green haired boy who was constantly made fun of because of his girlish look. Misaki had tried to protect him the day before, but these tough guys just pushed her onto the floor too. No matter how strong she was, she couldn't fight these guys. "Face it, you owe me. Just one haircut."

"What?"

"You, Usui Takumi, are going to give me a haircut. Right now."

"We are _under a desk_."

"Just cut my freaking hair," she snapped, holding out a pair of safety scissors for two-year-olds that were so ridiculously blunt, but had to be used in Seika because of the no-violence rule. She turned around to make it easier for him, although there was something inside her was screaming at her to stop it. "Make it quick. You've got about one minutes before he'll notice."

"I'm not cutting your hair," he replied. Misaki turned her head and gave him a look that said _oh yes you are, honey_. "You have pretty hair. I like it long."

She shoved the safety scissors into his fist. "Just cut it," she said giving him an exasperated look. Wait, did he just say that she had pretty hair?

" _Over my dead body_ ," he shot back, with gritted teeth. She had never seen him so serious before. Weird. There were so many other things to be serious about than this.

"You idiot! I can't sport a manly ponytail, so what am I meant to do with long hair?"

He sighed. "Wait here. I'll get a wig from the theatre store cupboard. They're bound to have something."

"And what am I meant to do? Just wait here under the table?"

"What else?" he said, his smirk returning to his face.

"This is a really bad idea," Misaki said, starting to smile with amusement. "You're got ninety seconds. I won't accept anything less from an alien like you."

He mock-saluted and stood up. "I won't fail you, sir."

"You better not," she grinned.

When the door clicked shut, she started to count.

By ten seconds, everyone was wondering aloud why Takumi had suddenly left class.

By twenty seconds, the teacher was standing next to the hiding-desk.

"Mr Ayuzawa. Why are you not working on the maths questions, why are your extensions not off, and, for god's sake, why are you sitting under a desk?"

"My extensions are tangly, sir," she replied, staring up at him with an innocent smile. "They won't come out. Usui has gone to get some, uhh, oil. Hair oil."

"In the middle of maths?"

"He was bored, so he thought it was alright."

He looked beyond pissed off. "Then I'll untangle them for you. Stand up."

Misaki's heart skipped a beat in panic. "That's okay. I'll just cut the extensions off."

The teacher walked away and Misaki was left there, alone, on the cold, hard ground.

It had almost been minute since Takumi had left. He had thirty seconds left.

Never mind. Who cares about him, and the wig?

It was just stupid, dumb, inefficient hair.

Snip.

Hack, hack, hack.

Snip.

Hack.

Snip.

Gone.

All gone.

It was over.

Done.

Gone.

She forced a smile for herself, took a deep breath and thrust the hair into the nearby bin. After a second thought, she then shoved a bunch of scrap paper on top to hide the chunks of hair, and stood up.

The door opened. It had been eighty nine seconds.

Takumi waltzed in with a big smirk on his face, carrying the biggest, ugliest rainbow clown wig she had ever seen. "Mitsu-chan! Look what I found you! And there's a matching nose!" He squidged a round clown nose a couple of times, and looked up at her. His smile faded away instantly.

"Oh. You actually..." He discreetly chucked the actual brunette wig he had picked out into the bin, and faked a smile. Well enough to fool her into thinking that he had never got a proper brunette wig. Almost well enough to trick her into thinking he wasn't disappointed in the haircut.

"Yeah, I... Sorry..."

"Well, still. Eighty-nine seconds. And the theatre is all the way on the other side of campus. AND, I didn't even run. Impressive, huh? I'm a _great_ alien."

She smiled. She was just like him, faking a smile to not hurt the other. "You're not bad. Woulda been better if you could have made it in a minute."

"I did. I waited outside for thirty seconds for dramatic effect."

Misaki scowled. "Oh, screw you."

* * *

"Pssssssssst!"

"Eh huh."

"Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssstt."

"Yehuh."

"Usui! Wake the hell up!"

He smiled at her in the dim lighting, and he sat up in the wooden bed to face Misaki on the other bed. "Sweetheart, I've been awake for two days. You don't need to tell me. I've been waiting."

"You knew?"

"I knew it was coming. Yesterday, today, tomorrow. It was coming, one of these days, eventually. It was only a matter of time. But I had a theory that you were going to ask today because of the way you were complaining this morning. By the way, Rule #18, you little rulebreaker."

She shrugged. "Who gives a crap? I have a question to ask you."

He smiled. His eyes glittered with amusement. "Your things are in a storehouse, northwest from here. About half a mile off campus. If you want them back, you steal them back."

"And what if I don't want to do that?" she questioned.

"Then you go to the receptionist to beg."

"Okay," she smiled. "You can guess where I'm going now, then."

"Oh no. I'm coming too."

"Why?"

"Oh, no reason."

She glowered at him, hands on her hips. "You're going to laugh at me."

"Honey, it's not laughing at you if you'd only laugh with me."

"You," she snapped, but couldn't seem to find an excuse for him not to come that wasn't something along the lines of "you're annoying". She shook her head at him. "Ugh. Just don't come."

* * *

Hands on the receptionist's desk. Lean down, nice and close and intimidating. Scary face. Deep voice. Radiate authority.

"Hey, I want my stuff back."

Takumi coughed into his elbow.

The receptionist glared. "Don't try that on me, kid."

Takumi coughed more.

Misaki straightened her back and removed her hands off the desk. "Sorry, uh. Can I have my things back? Please, miss?"

She eyed her. "Better. We'll see about that." She clicked on her computer a couple of times. "Name please?"

"Ayuzawa Mis – I mean, Mitsuaki."

Click. Click.

"Yeargroup?"

"Second year."

Click. Click.

The secretary's grey eyes narrowed and she peered back at Misaki through her owl glasses. "You're the kid found with seventeen boxes of _Tampax_ and five packs of _Always_."

Takumi coughed even more.

Misaki stared back boldly. "And, so what if I am? Can I please have them back?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Well, because it's just plain creepy for a boy your age to have that in their suitcase!"

Silence. A long, very long awkward silence.

Takumi coughing again. Not just coughing. A proper coughing fit.

"Boy, are you quite okay? Do you want to see the school nurse or something?"

"No, no, I'm okay," he replied, completely deadpan. "I'm just still recovering from my serious case of a rare disease."

Both females glared at him. "Oh, and what disease is that?" Misaki scowled.

"Laughcoughingbabumteedumscrumptiousdee...itis."

"Ha. Ha. Can't you just go back to our dorm? You're not helping."

"Oh, sure I am. I just haven't started yet. You see," he said, leaning down onto the desk, "my friend here is actually a girl."

" _What_?"

"At heart. Biologically speaking, he's not female. But he's a girl at heart. His lifelong dream has always been to be the most famous drag queen in the world."

"What kind of help is this?" Misaki screamed. That idiot just luuuved showing off that dumb cover story, didn't he. "You know, this guy isn't right in the head. See, he has an uncontrollable fetish for maids." Takumi's mouth morphed from a smirk to a jaw drop. "He can't stop thinking of them. Their outfits turn him on. And, y'know what? He even cosplays as them. See? See? You can't trust him when he's a bit whoopy in the head. Hey, hey, what are you writing there?"

"You've both got counselling tomorrow at ten. Don't be late."

* * *

 **This is going to turn into a proper plot soon. Kind of.**

 **So I hope you found it at least a bit funny and not cringy awkward…okeee, bye XD**


	5. A Discussion on Donuts and Bananas

**Hi! I guess the hiatus is off? It's been more than three months and I'm bored af so I just started planning and writing this one again. This one is a ton of fun to write.** **I'm also a bit confused a bit now why Mission got 'updated' - I just deleted the hiatus notice and it said it updated. I didn't write a new chapter though.**

 **Also my parents didn't give my computer back but are letting me use it in their bedroom, so it was incredibly awkward writing this and I hope they didn't see any of it.**

 **I hope you like this chapter :)**

 **DISCLAIMER: You don't care and you already know this, but I don't own Maid-sama.**

* * *

They had been waiting for this stupid counselor for over half an hour now, and frankly Misaki was a little scared of what was coming. The student already in there had been wailing the whole time they were outside. They could hear a lower, sterner voice too, and it was yelling at the other mercilessly, to shut up. Along the way, somewhere, the counselor had given up on yelling and there was just eerie silence other than the sobs of the poor kid.

"I hate you," Misaki said.

"You love me really," Takumi replied. "It's just way down in that dark, dark soul of yours."

"Way, way, way down. It's very dark down in there, so I don't think you want to find it."

"Aha!" he grinned. "So you do love me. I know it."

"I don't," she glared. "Are you an idiot?"

"I've gotten perfect 100 percent scores on tests since preschool, and there's proof because I've kept every single one. And I don't even study. If I'm an idiot, I don't even know what everyone else in this world is, including _you_. I'm perfect. How can you not love me?"

Misaki snorted. "See, that proves that you aren't perfect. If you were perfect you wouldn't be so big-headed and self-obsessed, stupid. Someone perfect would be handsome, really smart, athletic, generous, modest, nice but not so nice it's sickly boring, et cetera, et cetera."

"Sounds like me."

"It sounds like the opposite of you," Misaki snapped. "For one, you're not nice because it's your fault we're waiting for the psycho counselor -"

"I'm usually nice."

"Yeah, right. I don't know how athletic you are, not too sure how truthful that your smartness story is completely true, and you're not _that_ good-looking. You look like you've dyed your hair way too blonde –"

"Stay away from my hair," he said, pretending to look offended. "It's natural."

"Fine, but the point is that you're not modest either. You don't talk about anything except how great you are."

"That's not true," he pouted, looking so sad that it was kind of adorable, just like a little kid. "I like talking about your periods too."

Misaki went beet red in an instant after she realized what he said. "You mean periods, as in how the school day is divided up, because we can definitely, definitely talk about that, I don't mind -"

"I mean the type other known as menstruation."

"Menstruation?" she said, making a strangled kind of gasp. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Strawberry jam donuts."

"CAN WE STOP WITH THE DONUT AND BANANA ANALOGIES?!" she screamed.

At that point, the door slammed open. "Now, now. Let's all stop fighting."

The voice was of a young man, maybe in his early twenties, with dark hair and a sense of familiarity around him that she quickly dismissed. She was positive that she had never seen this guy in her life, because she certainly wouldn't have forgotten his face – he had handsome features, long and angular, and some extraordinary eyes like cold blue ice, so light that the irises slightly mixed into the whites in some angles.

The boy standing behind him slipped past him and ran away without saying a word of goodbye. The young man ignored him.

"I don't have periods – I seriously do have a penis!" Misaki blurted out instinctively, upon seeing the guy.

"That's great," the guy smirked, as Misaki went tomato red. "I never said you didn't. You're here for roommate counselling. The receptionist tells me you've been arguing."

"Oh," Misaki said, and glanced sideways to look at Takumi. Takumi's eyes had narrowed and his lips had thinned. He was glaring at the counselor with so much disgust and hate that she was sure that at least one of them would light on fire, because of the heat of Takumi's glare.

"Hello," the counselor said with a smirk, holding a hand out to Misaki. "Call me Gerald. It's my first name, but I'd like to keep our relationship very nice and friendly."

"What are you doing here?" Takumi snarled, clenching his fists.

Gerald turned to him, raising his eyebrows and smiling a little bit too innocently. "I would prefer it if you could be a little more polite, Usui-san."

Takumi turned to Misaki, his face looking incredibly annoyed. "Mitsu, let's go. This is obviously a joke. That's my -"

"I'm sorry," Gerald cut in forcefully, a strange look passing over his face as he stared at Takumi, hard. "If you think we've met, this is incredibly awkward. I've never seen you in my life."

Takumi glared daggers at him. "Very funny, Gerald. You can go now."

"I'd like it if you showed a bit of respect to your counselor," Gerald said, smirking, "as I decide if you get counselling for the next two years, or if it can end after one nice little calm session. Now, please come in."

He stood aside to let the two students. Misaki shot Takumi a slightly annoyed, slightly confused look as she slipped into the room and sat down in one of the chairs by the desk opposite a big black leather swivelly chair. Takumi, on the other hand, crossed his arms, refusing to come in.

"Usui-san," Gerald said sweetly, "if you don't come in _right this instant_ , I can assure you, you won't be having a very nice year, at all."

"Gerald, I'm not coming into your stupid -"

"Get in right this instant."

Takumi walked in and sat down next to Misaki.

Gerald placed his hands neatly on the desk. "So how are you feeling today?"

"I feel okay," Misaki said.

"How do you feel today, Usui-san?"

"I would feel better if you weren't here," Takumi spat out.

"Now, now," Gerald said with a slick smile. "Calm down there. No need to be rude. Now, Ayuzawa-san, how do you feel about Usui-san? I understand if you think he is a slimy, slimy little -"

"I'm a _what_?"

"He's okay," Misaki sighed, shooting a glare at Takumi. "He's a little on the annoying side. A bit of a nasty pervert. He's also very big-headed. Actually, I don't think I like him much at all."

"I am amazing," Takumi said, a hint of a very small smile playing on his lips for the first time since he saw Gerald. "Don't lie."

"I'm not lying, idiot."

"Okay," Gerald said, not writing any of this down like he was meant to. "Usui-san, what do you think of Ayuzawa-san?"

"Why should I tell you?" Takumi snapped.

Gerald smiled, or rather, smirked. "I need to know this."

"Why?" Misaki asked with a frown.

The counsellor turned to her with a thinly veiled expression of disapproval. Misaki shrank back a little, seeing this face. "Progress check. Each week I'll be asking what you think of each other to see if the problem is improving at all, so that you won't have to be separated into different rooms."

"I'd like a new room," Misaki piped in.

Takumi faked a hurt look. "I like Mitsu, but she's always mean to me."

Gerald's lips curled into a slightly sinister smile. " _She_? So Mitsu is a girl?"

"A transgender girl, but yes, definitely a girl."

"I see," Gerald said. "Would you like to talk about that?"

Misaki went from slightly rosy to pale white. "I'd rather not."

"That's okay. We don't need to talk about anything you don't want to talk about. Usui-san, would you like to talk about your maid fetish?"

"I'd rather not," Takumi said, coldly gazing at Gerald.

"I'm sorry, that's not an option for you," the counsellor replied, with a gleeful amusement dancing in his eyes. "I want to hear this. What do you like about maids?"

"I don't have a fetish for maids."

"The receptionist says you do," Gerald said calmly.

"The receptionist isn't always right, is she?" Takumi said, his voice rising. Misaki was surprised – he hadn't seen this side of him before, and it was strangely intriguing. "She said me and my roommate are arguing – no, we're functioning perfectly fine. I don't have a maid fetish, either. Mitsu was just making stuff up at that point."

"You told me you have a maid fetish," she pointed out.

"But then after that I told you I didn't mean any of it."

"Well, you told the receptionist that I was going to a drag queen or something, so I just got a bit mad at you. It's understandable enough."

"So you don't have a maid fetish?" Gerald asked, looking a bit disappointed.

"I don't."

"Damn," he sighed. "I already warned the entire student body to not cosplay as maids unless they want to get raped by a horny blonde."

"Nonsense," Takumi said with a completely deadpan face and a monotonous voice, "everyone wants to get raped by me. So it wouldn't be rape."

"I actually don't want to, thank you very much," Misaki said hurriedly.

"I'll opt out too," Gerald added.

Takumi's green eyes flickered over to glance at Gerald's icy ones. "I wouldn't want to rape _you_."

"Hopefully you wouldn't want to rape anyone," Misaki said.

"I don't. I don't really like bananas very much."

"I like bananas," Gerald said, looking mildly interested. "Not that that's related to anything."

"Can we please stop with the donut-banana analogy?" Misaki pleaded. "It's made me never want to eat either of them ever again."

"You've tried both?"

Misaki went bright red and grabbed a pot of pens and threw it at Takumi, who narrowly escaped the wrath of the girl by ducking down as it whizzed over his head. She crossed her arms. "Can I leave now? This session has gone way too sexual."

Gerald flicked his hand in dismissal. "Go straight back to class. Or don't. I don't care. It's not my problem if you bunk."

The raven haired girl beamed and left the room, closing the door lightly. Takumi moved to follow her, but Gerald grabbed his wrist across the table, before he could get up.

"Takumi -"

"Why are you here?" Takumi asked, letting anger seep into his voice. "I told you to stay away. What are you doing, pretending to be a counselor when you have all that stuff to do at home?"

Gerald looked amused. "Our family paid some money for the school to fire the old counsellor and put me in the position. They weren't happy because I have no qualifications whatsoever in Psychology or even medicine but they let me have the job. And it's not like our parents minded, they were curious too. I wanted to spy on my little brother."

"It's none of your business. Go back home. No one wants you here."

"Oh," Gerald said, an icy smile spreading across his face, "but of course it's all of my business whether or not you get married to Ayuzawa Misaki."

* * *

 **I have triple chocolate chip cookies for anyone who reviews :)**


	6. A Chapter Full of Pointless Bickering

**Hi! Thanks for the reviews from last chapter! This chapter is pretty short but I didn't want it to drag it on even further because it's already got enough bickering in it (I think?) and any more and it would get boring. Unless it's already boring, I don't know.**

* * *

Obviously Misaki was going to go back to class sooner or later, but something about Takumi being in a room alone with Gerald worried her. It would be obvious to anyone that they knew each other some way or another, and it was obvious that they despised each other too. But who was Gerald?

They could be some kind of enemies, but it didn't fit together. If they were proper enemies, why did Gerald always look amused, especially when looking at Takumi? Maybe something more casual?

Well, they did kind of look similar. Their noses and jawlines were the same, and their ears were pretty similar, and their eye shape was identical to each other's, although they had completely different eye colours. Now that she thought about it, their faces were pretty much identical, although she had never really noticed it much because she had never seen them right next to each other. So maybe they could be cousins? But no cousins looked that similar.

Brothers?

She shook her head. No brothers could hate each other that much that they were now throwing chairs at each other, she thought, peering into the door window. But she had always been abnormally close to her little sister Suzuna, so she couldn't really judge how normal siblings would act.

Misaki sighed and banged on the door a couple of times. "Takumi," she called. "Are you done?"

There was no answer except for an ear-splitting crash. "Wait, no one's dead yet, right?" she shouted. "Just making sure. I need to know if a doctor needs too called or something."

She waited for about ten seconds for someone to say something. "And no one's listening…I'm talking to myself, right?"

Still no answer.

Misaki's eye twitched in irritation. "Well this is just great," she muttered to herself. "USUI TAKUMI," she screamed. "WILL YOU STOP SHOVING A PENCIL IN YOUR COUNSELOR'S EAR AND JUST LISTEN TO ME?!"

The noise stopped instantly.

The door slowly swung open and Takumi appeared with an embarrassed expression on his face and his hair even more disheveled than usual. "Um," he said. "Sorry. It didn't mean to get that far."

Her eyes darted around the room. A minute ago it had been neat and orderly, but now all the books from the bookshelf were on the floor, the chairs had no legs any more, and Gerald was on the floor clutching his ear.

"Takumi," Gerald muttered. "Mark my words – one day I will shove you into our lake and drown you slowly as the ducks pee on you and the geese eat you alive. And I will watch this and _laugh_."

"That's not going to happen," Takumi replied with a satisfied smirk. "Mum and Dad will kill you if you do that, because they like _me_ more."

Gerald shook his head. "That's not true. You're illegitimate. Dad definitely doesn't like you more than me."

"Then why did he tell me that I'm better?" Takumi replied in a monotonous voice.

Gerald frowns. "That's definitely not true. He said he likes me more."

"I get better grades than you," Takumi smirked.

"But you never talk to anyone. I do."

"But you're crappy at sports."

"No one likes you."

"You can't cook to save your life."

"But at least I can get my fiancée to marry me," Gerald shot back.

Takumi's eyes flashed and he would have lunged forwards and grabbed Gerald's throat, had Misaki not grabbed the back of his school shirt collar. "Calm down, calm down," she snapped furiously. "You know you two are the weirdest brothers ever?"

"How did you know we're brothers?" Takumi said, looking astonished.

"How did I _not_ know you're brothers?" Misaki sighed. "You're identical."

"Except I'm hotter," Takumi added in.

"I'm way hotter," Gerald snarled.

"I said you're identical," Misaki said. "That means you're equally not hot."

"Not hot?" Gerald said, scrunching his nose upwards. "That's impossible."

"I value intelligence above everything else," Misaki told them. "And you're both idiots."

Takumi pouted like a little puppy. "But I'm blonde. Everyone's into blondes," he said, sounding so disappointed that Misaki wanted to smother him in a hug.

Misaki blushed. "But I'm not into blondes."

"I thought Mitsu-chan liked me."

"I do, just not like _that_ -"

Takumi straightened his back and crossed his arms. "Now, this is just insulting."

"I meant it in a good way!" Misaki exclaimed. "I love you. Kind of. Like a friend."

He looked confused for a second before his eyes shone, all big and round and adorable. Totally huggable.

"What?" Misaki said.

"I don't think anyone's ever said that to me before."

Misaki's brow furrowed, confused. "That you're a friend?"

"No. Before that."

"I love you?"

He chuckled. "So you _do_ love me." He looked excited. !Say it again."

"Um, I love you?"

"Say it again!"

"You're weird."

"Well," Gerald glared, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to break up this incredibly touching moment to inform you both that the curtains are on fire."

"What are you on about – OH MY GOD, THE CURTAINS!" Misaki screamed.

"Hmm," Takumi said. "How did _that_ happen?"

"I'm guessing it was the lamp we smashed," Gerald replied thoughtfully.

"No, it couldn't have been," Takumi said shaking his head. "The lamp didn't go anywhere near the curtains. Besides, I think they're made of wool, and that doesn't really burn well."

"Well, they're obviously burning right now," Gerald said, gesturing at the other side of the room. "They're probably cotton, then."

"But who gets cotton curtains?" Takumi said, frowning. "They're so ugly."

"True, but no one gets wool, either. I prefer velvet. It's very elegant."

Takumi made a face. "Silk is better. And it hangs nicely."

"Hmm, I suppose you're right. Faux silk does look great."

"I feel like we're excluding Mitsu in this conversation," Takumi considered. "Mitsu-chan, what do you think?"

"WE'RE ABOUT TO DIE IN HERE," she yelled. "AND YOU'RE TAKLING ABOUT SILK."

"And velvet," Gerald added.

"Then what would you like to talk about?" Takumi asked, putting a hand on Misaki's shoulder as she fumed.

"I WANT TO GO," she yelled.

Takumi waved his hand nonchalantly. "It's not like we're actually going to die. It's a fire. Nothing we haven't seen before."

"ARE YOU DONE?" Misaki screamed.

Takumi patted her on the back. "If you're really that worried about it, we can go."

"Thank you," Misaki huffed.

Takumi chuckled softly. "You could have run away ages ago, but you waited for me," he said, almost gleefully.

"Well done, you've finally made a friend," Gerald said glaring at his brother.

"While you still have zero," Takumi shot back.

"I have Cedric."

"You _pay_ Cedric."

"SHUT UP," Misaki yelled, grabbing the door handle.

"Do you think I'm going to be fired?" Gerald sighed, looking wistful.

"Hopefully," said Takumi.

A second after he said that, the fire alarm began to wail and the water sprinkler started to spray and spit everywhere. Misaki squinted through the rain-like sprinkler and grabbed the door handle and pushed; she rushed out, Takumi right behind her and Gerald going to save some stuff from his room before following not far behind. The hallway had the same kind of uncontrollable downpour, going all over the receptionist's desk and all her tidily organised pots of pens and stacks of paper, all over the leather couches and neat coffee tables, all over the school's expensive prestigious paintings. Misaki stopped to watch the paint drip down onto the gold frames and down the old red wallpaper, and for some reason, her anger slipped away and she couldn't help but be slightly amused. It was something about the destruction of this place she hated so much, over something so pointless, that was funny for some reason.

At that precise moment, she knew that she wasn't going back to that obedient little girl she had always been. She wasn't going back to that naïve girl who just would accept her fate. She wasn't going back to that girl who threw away her childhood years for work. And for what? The reason she had always wanted to work hard was so that she could support her whole family on her own, not so that her parents would set her up with a stranger so that _she would never have to work_. From the moment she refused to marry Whatshisname Walker, she was a new person. She felt free, like she was flying, and she felt _awesome_.

* * *

"Because of that fire, you're both now labelled as Dangerous Students," the principal explained to Takumi and Misaki, "And you have to wear these." He held up two large orange jumpsuits.

"Screw this," Misaki muttered. "I want to go home."

* * *

 **So, in other news, I am now FOURTEEN! Yay. My birthday was on the 27th (like Takumi, which is pretty awesome). Well, it's not that exciting. Some (or most) of you reading this will probably be older than me. But it's good because with every year I get older it's less awkward writing romantic fanfics XD**

 **Anyway! On this chapter, you get triple chocolate chip brownies if you review :)**


	7. A Lack of Binoculars and Popcorn

**Hello again. Thanks for last chapter's reviews and stuff, you're all awesome. Sorry this chapters a bit late, I meant to update exactly a week after the last update but I was watching AnoHana and when I finished it I spent the next few days moping around (when I first finished it I was just bawling my eyes out on the sofa).**

 **This chapter has serious perverting.**

 **Read with caution.**

* * *

"I can't believe you blamed it on us," Takumi grumbled.

Gerald chuckled. "You didn't think I would let myself get fired. Like I would miss out on seeing my little brother and his cute little fiancée at school."

"She's not my fiancée."

"Alright, alright," Gerald said with an amused smile playing on his lips. "Also, I _love_ your new outfit. The orange matches you hair."

Takumi scowled. He didn't like their new uniforms much. They were giant and saggy and _orange_ , just like a criminal in a prison. And they were itchy. Itchy as hell. A thousand other boys must have worn it before him, and it smelt like the school had never bothered to get it washed.

"I'm blonde," Takumi told his brother flatly. "And you owe me. You owe me a lot. And I need you to get me something."

Gerald sighed. "It's not drugs, is it? It's not easy to find weed in this country."

"I don't do drugs."

"Our parents think you do."

"Evidently, since I'm in this school," Takumi said glaring. "Which says a lot, since they _still_ like me better."

"Let's not go into this again," Gerald snapped. "What is it that you want? I can smuggle it in for you, if it's not big. Or drugs. Or alcohol. I mean, weed isn't exactly the easiest thing to find in Japan, but I guess alcohol won't be too hard to find, they sell it everywhere and I'm old enough to buy it easily, so if you want to get drunk on tequila shots with your fiancée and do things you hopefully won't regret, that's absolutely fine, because I guess you're going to do it sooner or later when you get married anyway so -"

"Pads," Takumi said.

"Pads?" Gerald said.

"Pads," Takumi repeated, pointing downwards.

"Oh," said Gerald, his face paling. " _Pads_."

"Yeah," Takumi said. "Pads. And some tampons would be good too."

"Okay?" Gerald said.

"Okay," Takumi said.

"That won't be much fun buying," Gerald said awkwardly.

"I know," Takumi said with a small smile.

"You know, me, as a guy. With a banana."

"The donut-banana analogy is only for Misaki," Takumi said with a flat face. "It's just stupid, talking about it with _you_."

Gerald looked daggers at Takumi. "What do you want with pads, anyway?"

"They aren't for me," Takumi told him. "They're for Misaki."

"Oh?" Gerald said, raising an eyebrow. "She didn't bring any?"

"They got confiscated."

"Ah."

"Yeah."

The conversation between the two brothers quickly spiraled into awkwardness, so he nodded at Gerald stiffly and they turned in different directions and Taikumi hurried towards the other side of campus to their room. That was where Misaki was most likely to be, since it was already past midnight. Takumi expected her to be snuggled up on her uncomfortable wooden bed with her short choppy dark locks of hair sprawled out all over the pillow, sleeping peacefully, silently.

She wasn't there. But her old school uniform was neatly laid down and folded on her bed next to her new orange jumpsuit, and her scent was still all over the room. It was a fresh scent, no longer full of coconut shampoo, but just _Misaki_.

Takumi wasn't in love. He was certain of it. She just smelled good, and she had pretty hair. He would never fall in love with someone his parents told him he had to love, simply because he considered his parents to be complete and utter idiots, and that he decided that he could never trust their judgement on anything. But he knew deep inside that it was probably a bit more than liking someone as a friend. But it wasn't like every hour of the past few days he couldn't stop thinking about the adorable way she smiled or talked or laughed and all the other thousands of little things she did or the expressions she made. Nope. Nope. Nopity-nope.

Takumi wasn't in love, but he broke Rule #1, crossed the line, and picked up her old crinkled school shirt. He wasn't going to be that one creep who would lift it up to his face and sniff it melodramatically, but he held it for a second and felt like he was holding her. Not that he wanted to.

He had a tugging feeling that she was probably in the lake washing up, since she hadn't washed in days. He started running in that direction, ducking into a bush every time a guard strolled past. He finally reached the other side of campus, on the dirt road leading to the muddy lake, and his jaw dropped.

She was naked. Very naked.

It wasn't like he could see anything in detail, but you could see her silhouette in the light of the giant full moon. She was leaning down, scrubbing her legs with water, and then she stood up suddenly and looked at the sky.

Huh, so she _wasn't_ flat-chested.

Takumi shook his head. It was one thing acting like a total pervert in front of her, but acting like a total pervert behind her very-naked back was another thing. Misaki would laugh or blush about his perverting usually. But if she knew that he was here right now she would murder him slowly, or at least stab him with a pair of baby scissors in the eye a couple of hundreds of times while kicking him in the stomach and pinching his nose.

Anyway, it wasn't like he was going to be that super creep who would hide in a bush and watch her with binoculars while eating popcorn. Mostly because he didn't have binoculars and popcorn.

He was, however, going to hide in a bush.

He didn't know quite why he couldn't just go back to his room and get some rest, but he couldn't. He didn't want to, his legs didn't want to move, and he didn't feel like sleep anyway.

Takumi was only there for about ten seconds before he heard some low laughing from a few metres away.

His head whipped around to find where it was coming from. He squinted in the darkness, and then he saw.

Apparently, Misaki had other admirers.

Takumi didn't even bother being discreet. It made him so mad – so mad, that other people were looking at her like that. Unlike him, they didn't know her. He pushed through the bushes to where the sound was coming from, grabbed someone's hair, and kicked him in the gut.

Someone gave a muffled cry.

"Dude," one the boys hissed. It looked like there were three of them. "She's going to hear you."

"I don't care," Takumi snapped. "Don't you know it's kind of disrespectful to be looking at her like that?"

All three of them turned to look at him with a glare. "Hey, don't act like you weren't doing the same."

"I wasn't. I don't have binoculars."

One of the boys shrugged. "Hey, it's not often that you get to see a real-life mermaid."

Takumi gaped at him. "What are you on about?"

"She's got to be a mermaid," one of them said.

"She can't not be a mermaid."

"Mermaids aren't real," Takumi said. "I'm not a little girl."

The same guy sighed and gave him a patronising look. "Mermaids are real, dude. Have some faith in the magistical world. She's got to be some kind of mermaid. Only Class Fs use this lake for washing, and there are _obviously_ no girls in our school."

Another boy nodded. "And man, no one looks like _that_ and isn't one."

"Though she would look better with longer hair," the third one went.

"I like her short hair," another one said. "It means you can see her back more clearly."

"But long hair is more feminine -"

"Short hair is perfectly feminine -"

"Not when it's _that_ short -"

"Well, I think it's very pretty -"

"I think _she's_ very pretty but -"

"You're all idiots," Takumi said. "Can't you see she's got legs? Besides, mermaids aren't real. Humans, on the other hand, are."

"Some mermaids have legs when they aren't in water."

"But she's in water."

"She's not human," one of them said persistently.

"She can't be human," another nodded.

"She's not human," the last one agreed.

The second one considered. "Then if she isn't a mermaid, and she isn't human, then she might be an angel." The others nodded in agreement.

"To be honest, she definitely could be an angel," Takumi said, and then thought about it seriously. He thought of how she had duct-taped him to a lamppost only a few days ago, and thought about how she ranted and yelled at people and screamed like a banshee or a demon or something wicked. He smiled without meaning to, but it was impossible not to when you realise how cute she really was. "Actually, no, I take that back. She is 100% not angel. She can't be. Nope."

" _Dude_ ," one of them snapped.

"What?"

"What if she hears you?" one of them hissed. "And then sends God's wrath on you?"

"Why would God be angry at me?" Takumi asked. "Everyone loves me."

"But you know…" the one that looked like he had blonde hair said uncomfortably. "Well, I guess God probably wouldn't be angry because it's none of God's business, but if the angel knows we're talking about her in a negative way, she would be angry, wouldn't she?"

Takumi glared at him. "I think she'd probably be angrier about the fact you've been staring at her from a bush while she's naked."

"Aren't angels always naked, though?" one of them said. "You know, in those old paintings and stuff."

"Yeah, so they're okay with it," another said.

Takumi shook his head. "Yeah, but they're all male too, so you can't really say that. You know. They're always painted with their tiny little bananas and stuff."

"Bananas?" one of them asked.

Takumi pointed down.

"Dude," someone said loudly. "You're not meant to look at that. It's UNHOLY."

"Yeah," one said. "But, so, if she's not a mermaid or an angel or a human, she's got to be a nymph or something, don't she?"

"Well, she can't be a dude. She's hot."

"Too hot."

"Super-hot."

"Whatever she is, I haven't seen a chick like that in years."

They started laughing. Takumi stared at them, for once frightened for the future of humanity.

"You know what I should do…?" one said and then whispered something into another's ear. The two other guys chortled with laughter and nudged him forward.

A shadow started moving towards to Misaki, grinning.

Takumi punched him.

He didn't mean to, but the anger just got the better of him. His fists were suddenly clenched and moving upwards and towards one of their dark shadows and collided with what looked like a head. A shout echoed in the air.

And then he mentally asked why he hadn't thought of punching him before. It felt good as hell.

"Stay the fuck away from her," Takumi snarled.

"Dude," one of them said, kneeling down to help his bleeding friend, "chill! She's gonna hear us."

"I don't care."

"Don't act like you're better than any of us," the other guy spat. "Don't act like you've actually got a chance with a nymph."

"You don't understand," Takumi smirked, thinking about how they were literally engaged already. "I really do."

"Do you _really_?" a new voice said. It was higher than the others, feminine, smooth, confident. Angry. Takumi looked sideways, and saw a pair of glowing, furious amber eyes. Misaki was so angry that it was like a black demonic aura was surrounding her. "Because I really don't think you do."

Takumi didn't flinch back, because he was Takumi. But he did grab one of the three boys by the collar and pushed in front of him.

She kicked two of them to the side violently, ignoring their cries of pain. "Takumi," she said, smiling so sickly sweetly that it was unnerving. "What do you think you're doing?"

Takumi pointed down. "I was found them."

"You found them?" she said, cocking her head to the side and smiling even more sweetly.

"I found them," Takumi repeated, "in a bush. And I was talking to them about how wrong it is to look at a naked people." He noticed that she was no longer naked and was now completely dressed in her scratchy cotton plain pajamas, and was annoyed that he hadn't noticed her getting dressed beforehand.

"And what were you doing before you found them?"

"Looking for you."

She stomped on his foot.

"What were you saying?" she said just as sweetly.

"I _was_ looking for you," he said. "And then I got distracted."

"Was this before or after you saw me?"

"Uh. After."

Misaki kicked him.

* * *

 **I'll virtually send cupcakes to all reviewers :)**

 **Also, just a really, really really important question: would anyone kill me if I wrote a ToraMisa fanfiction?**


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